It’s been a rough weekend. Our perfect little gift from God is healthy but is a typical newborn and decides to get fussy in the middle of the night. But it’s noon and finally got her to sleep in her bassinet versus on my chest and I finally was able to get a few hours of sleep myself. She’s already teaching me patience somehow and my emotions still are pretty all over the place because, after my husband, I’ve never really experience this type of love before. Not even with my parents, and I definitely feel like the worst daughter ever because my parents are amazing and have done and given me so much. But, perhaps that is the point. She is our world already, God’s greatest gift to us, and for the rest of our lives we will perhaps be metaphorically sleeping with one eye open.
So, for her one month birthday, I’d like to share a few lessons that I want my daughter to learn:
You will be shaped and molded beautifully but it will sometimes hurt.
I’m hoping and praying that you won’t let failures, bullies, and unfortunate circumstances eat away at you too much, but if you’re anything like your mother they will. Seeing you form tears now around one month of age already starts to break my heart, so I can only imagine how I’ll feel when the world causes them to stream down your face. But each heart break, each awful person that spreads a rumor or tries to manipulate you, each unfair and unfounded critique will test you and mold you to become the adult you will become. I just pray that we all can help you stay grounded to keep things in perspective so that the heartbreak becomes lessons versus irreparable holes. Would I myself be different today if these things didn’t happen to me? Of course. I’d be more trusting of people and a little less paranoid. But, I wouldn’t be the person I am today and that in and of itself is a beautiful thing. I may not be perfect but I some how managed to become very happy surrounded by wonderful people and in a job, home, and life that I love.
Your parents aren’t always right; but neither are you.
My parents aren’t always right; I’m not always right. But sometimes they are right. And even if they aren’t, it’s because of their fierce and unwavering love they have for me that makes them try very hard to provide me with the best information that they can give. I’m sure I will annoy you and be all “mom” on you, but I hope that you will also recognize that it’s out of love and maybe are a little patient with us. I still struggle with this with my parents, but I do know they have knowledge and wisdom that I don’t and love for me that I cannot fully comprehend so it’s at least worth it to humor them by listening and seeing what they have to teach me. Please try to feel the same for us when your father and I try to teach you things throughout your life — your life might go at least a little bit easier if you just humor us and see what you can learn.
Don’t make too many plans, God will inevitably change them.
And it’s always for the better. Time and time again, I will make a major life plan and God will tell me otherwise. My husband wishes he could listen as well as I do. I can’t explain it, but the Holy Spirit has guided many of my most important life decisions — many of which came from nowhere and changed my life for the better. For instance, going from public school to private school, transferring colleges, switching from being a history major to a nursing major in one weekend (when, mind you, I was halfway done with a history degree), marrying your father, and having you.
Leaving my public school behind and attending a private Catholic school for high school wasn’t easy and I experienced a lot of molding. I became Catholic and found God. My parents noticed the difference in how much the school changed me and I will carry the lessons I learned in those three years — both the good and the bad — with me forever.
I attended my first college for a whopping one whole semester before transferring to the one that would become my alma matter. I missed out on a few “traditional” college experiences but in that one semester at the first college I met your father, your godparents, and I just took them all with me to my new life at my alma matter.
History always been an easy subject for me in school. I can recite dates and facts like no one’s business. I was going to be Indiana Jones or something and do research in the libraries of the world and write papers galore. Nope. One Friday I got the idea to switch to nursing and the following Monday I contacted my school to make the necessary changes. I graduated with a degree in Nursing in 2013 and I can honestly say I love my job so much that I don’t know what my next moves are and for once in my life I don’t care. I have no interest in even entertaining the possibility of my next moves. Don’t get me wrong, I still have dreams, but I’m so happy I think I might just deal with them later.
Marrying your father and having you. Your father and I didn’t expect to find “the one” as early as we did — I being a first semester freshman right out of high school. It just happened. We became best friends surrounded by best friends and fell in love. I fought it for a few years (I was head strong, independent, and had plans that didn’t include being “tied down”) but I found great peace when I finally realized your father was God’s plan for me. When we found out we were pregnant with you, it arguably couldn’t have come at worst time by our calculations but everything lined up perfectly and finally having you in our arms makes everything else pale in comparison to these precious moments we have now.
My life would be dramatically different had these decisions not been made. I had my own plans, after all. However, I can’t imagine my life differently. Sure, I have days where I’m down in the dumps (I am an emotional being after all), but I have absolutely zero regrets. This is where I want to be. I hope that you are able to recognize that little voice in your heart that is guiding you down the path that will make you the happiest in life. That voice is the reason you are here today after all.
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